Not Your Traditional Christmas Movies... Well Some Are, Anyways...Maybe.
WARNING:*SPOILERS IN THIS BLOGPOST*
"Christmas(es)" in times past were mostly spent with (ex) girlfriends, or parties with collegues. It meant wearing Santa hats and exchanging presents, and festive kisses underneath the mistletoe felt more fun.
I personally do not celebrate the story behind the season, nor have I delved into the meaning and story behind it all. There are no "chimneys" in Singapore, so that aspect debunked the myth pretty early on in my childhood, choosing instead to point at western media in the television box at the folks' "fanciful foolishness".
It was just another holiday for me to partake of with food and revery. Singing, and listening to Christmasy Pop-songs were more enjoyable than Lunar Chinese New Year, truth be told, as I'd been enamoured with a non-heritage existence to me as a "Public Holiday" here in Singapore.
But these days, the season is about planning for Christmas spent with family (We are currently planning a Popiah Party but with Western Christmasy-fillings) although quite frankly the following movies might not be what the fam would consider to be "seasonal appropriate", which I would inevitably choose to watch for myself (#truestory) ... Counting down my own personal TopTen Eleven Christmas Movies - some festively-themed, while some "might be sus" to the average viewer, but hey, I'm just sharing, not trying to convince you otherwise.
Celebrate Christmas with a firm bouquet of middle fingers with "SCROOGED"! Directed by Richard Donner, this 1988 feature film is a retelling of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" where the protagonist is visuted by a trio of ghosts on Christmas Eve, who are meant to help him in regaining his "Christmas Spirit". Bill Murray (who took on this role after being in "Ghostbusters" hohoho) plays "Frank Cross" - a "selfish, cynical television executive", with Bill Murray doing the "Bill Murray" with aplomb, in a feature that I felt has aged well enough still to be relevant now LOL (Watch on Amazon)
You can argue this film its on the list only because of the words "Merry Christmas" is in the title of this 1983 film, and I'd argue back that it is solely for the SONG title from the film, that endears me to what I've always felt "Christmas" to be: A somber look back at the year before, and reconciling with yourself and your deeds, before the new year'll begin (*Reason why I'd not truly believed in "New Year Resolutions", as it'll be "too late" by then, innit? :p).
SYNOPSIS: "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence" is a multilayered, brutal, at times erotic tale of culture clash that was one of Director Nagisa Oshima's greatest successes.. (Rated "R" / Watch here on Amazon).
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR LAWRENCE" stars David Bowie and Ryuchi Sakamoto, and these are the only two persons I know in the film, of which had been constantly featured in press thru the years ... and the youngest I have seen on screen (so far) for Takeshi Kitano...! Regardless of intent or reason, enjoy the track otherwise.
"SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE" ranks as one of my all-time favourite Korean film. Directed by Park Chan-wook, with this film being apart of his "Vengeance trilogy" films (Including 2002's "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance" and 2003's "Oldboy"), the film starred Lee Young-ae as "Lee Geum-ja", who had been convicted of kidnapping and murdering a 6-year-old schoolboy, and we see her story of revenge unfold. Released in 2005, the film has firmly carved a corner of celluloid-loving heart.
The opening of the movie shows Lee Geum-ja (Lee Young Ae) coming out of prison after 13 and 1/2 years. She is greeted by an excited catholic priest with a choir of singers dressed as Santas. He presents her with a white tofu cake (what folks take a bite off of to cleanse their bad luck), when she chucks it to the floor, and tells him to go screw himself - Now THAT'S one hella XMAS! LOL
SYNOPIS: 'After being wrongfully convicted, a woman is imprisoned for 13 years and forced to give up her daughter. While in prison she gains the respect of her cellmates and plots her revenge on the man responsible. Once released, she begins her elaborate plan of retribution, but discovers a horrifying truth.' (Watch here on Amazon).
1996's JINGLE ALL THE WAY is as brutal-Christmas as you're going to get - understandably so I might not relate as I am not a father nor have I needed to fight to buy a toy for my non-existent kid, but... it's Arnold Schwarzenegger and Action Figure toys! HO~HO~HO...! (Watch here on Amazon).
I started this list with the caveat to have all live-action films, but how could I resist NOT listing 2003's "TOKYO GODFATHERS: anime film?
SYNOPSIS: 'From acclaimed director, Satoshi Kon (Perfect Blue, Millennium Actress) and Japan's leading animation studio, Mad House (X, Vampire Hunter D, Ninja Scroll), comes this visually and emotionally stunning tale of adventure, love and redemption.'. (Watch here on Amazon)
Yet another "caveat" thrown out the window, with a Stop-Motion Classic: "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS"! Presented by Tim Burton and directed by Henry Selick, this 1993 feature straddles Halloween and Christmas, and features a irresistible attempt to spread "good".
SYNOPSIS: 'Bored with the same old scare-and-scream routine, Pumpkin King Jack Skellington longs to spread the joy of Christmas. But his merry mission puts Santa in jeopardy and creates a nightmare for good little boys and girls everywhere!' (Watch here on Amazon).
"THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT" starts off with your "traditional" suburban family in America. Loving family in a small town... then suburban homemaker "Samantha Caine" (played by Geena Davis) gets a bump on her head, and slowly but surely she remembers per previous life as a secret agent. Her former agency returns to take her out .... Oh what a Christmas this'll be...! And Christmas is all about "surprises", as far as I am concerned... MUAHAHAHAHAHA
SYNOPSIS: 'A violent tale of a young mother who awakens after years of amnesia to discover she's an assassin, with her former bosses in hot pursuit.' (Watch here on Amazon). Directed by Renny Harlin, featured below is a 8-minuter preview of what to expect, in arguably one of my fav "Gonna Davis" roles (that, and Beetlejuice" :p)...!
You'd think more super villains'll know to use the festive season to wreck havoc on the general populance, especially crushing their celebratory attitudes ... but BATMAN RETURNS had this sorted out, with this 1992 film a sequel to 1988's "BATMAN"
SYNOPSIS: 'Batman Caped Crusader is pitted against demented, ravenous Penguin, pitiful, orphaned, psychopathic freak and 'power' hungry capitalist villain, Max Shreck.' (Watch here on Amazon). And how could I not feature "Max Shreck's Christmas Speech"...?
And while I might not be a huge convert of celebratory season, but receiving Christmas Presents is a universal joy! Just don't feed food after might night, nor give it water, nor expose to sunlight, which of course this being a Hollywood film, EVERY DOES...! 1984's GREMLINS is a self-induced chaotic-christmas muahahahahahaha (Watch here on Amazon)! Starring , Hoyt Axton
Who listens to "instructions" these days...? Directed by Joe Dante, and stars Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates, all of who return for 1990's "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" sequel (Watch here on Amazon).
At this juncture, I've realised my list consisted of "older films" - films which had left a memory-mark in me. And as much as I crack my braincells for more "modern" films to share, I am found wanting. The closest I'd enjoyed none too long ago was 2021's "Love Hard" - starring Nina Dobrev and Jimmy O. Yang (Watch here on Netflix) which used the season for the story to unfold around of, rather than 'Christmas" being the story itself, IMHO. Maybe I am mire for the "soft sell", anyways, innit...? MOVING ON...! :)
And the film I will be attempting to (re)watch this year, is 1983's "TRADING PLACES"! Thanks to the YT-Algorithm, I'd been devouring various clips of this feature (since starting getting this list together lol), and to me embodies the "Christmas Spirit" for which I've associated the season with: Do Good and Good Things will happen to you. Or no, you'll loose all your wealth, or be locked in a cage with a gorilla ...!
SYNOPSIS: 'Wealthy brothers switch homeless street hustler for a snooty broker in bet over "nature vs. nurture."'. (Watch here on Amazon). Directed by John Landis and stars Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis FTW! Gotta be the best-looking Santa I've seen on celluloid HO~HO~HOOOOOOOOO
As you saw the header for this blogpost, I am firmly in the corner of "DIE HARD IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE".
Did it embody all that is the Christmas Spirit?
Did it feature a warm and fuzzy sit around the Christmas Tree beside the fireplace crackling with love?
Did it feature familial love and happiness? Do I really care?
For all of the Christmas elements written into the story, not that the film was ever meant to be a Christmas movie in the first place. Plus it featured elements I was familiar with: Xmas Office Party with token Xmas tree.
That's it. Ho~Ho~Ho, innit? LOL
I have no doubt the filmmakers attempted to shoehorn in the Christmas-spirit in 1988's "DIE HARD 2", but hey I enjoyed the film, so I could go for that, no worries. But nothing beats the first movie, and if I had an editing skills, I'd replace tons of action scenes in the movie with Christmas songs playing in the background, so you might be convinced "Die Hard Is A Christmas Movie" ~ MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ~ No wait! They've done it already, haven't they? :p
Watch DIE HARD on Amazon
Watch Die Hard (4K UHD) on Amazon
Watch DIE HARD 2 on Amazon
Have a Merry One,folks!
Andy TOYSREVIL
"Christmas(es)" in times past were mostly spent with (ex) girlfriends, or parties with collegues. It meant wearing Santa hats and exchanging presents, and festive kisses underneath the mistletoe felt more fun.
I personally do not celebrate the story behind the season, nor have I delved into the meaning and story behind it all. There are no "chimneys" in Singapore, so that aspect debunked the myth pretty early on in my childhood, choosing instead to point at western media in the television box at the folks' "fanciful foolishness".
It was just another holiday for me to partake of with food and revery. Singing, and listening to Christmasy Pop-songs were more enjoyable than Lunar Chinese New Year, truth be told, as I'd been enamoured with a non-heritage existence to me as a "Public Holiday" here in Singapore.
But these days, the season is about planning for Christmas spent with family (We are currently planning a Popiah Party but with Western Christmasy-fillings) although quite frankly the following movies might not be what the fam would consider to be "seasonal appropriate", which I would inevitably choose to watch for myself (#truestory) ... Counting down my own personal Top
Celebrate Christmas with a firm bouquet of middle fingers with "SCROOGED"! Directed by Richard Donner, this 1988 feature film is a retelling of Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" where the protagonist is visuted by a trio of ghosts on Christmas Eve, who are meant to help him in regaining his "Christmas Spirit". Bill Murray (who took on this role after being in "Ghostbusters" hohoho) plays "Frank Cross" - a "selfish, cynical television executive", with Bill Murray doing the "Bill Murray" with aplomb, in a feature that I felt has aged well enough still to be relevant now LOL (Watch on Amazon)
You can argue this film its on the list only because of the words "Merry Christmas" is in the title of this 1983 film, and I'd argue back that it is solely for the SONG title from the film, that endears me to what I've always felt "Christmas" to be: A somber look back at the year before, and reconciling with yourself and your deeds, before the new year'll begin (*Reason why I'd not truly believed in "New Year Resolutions", as it'll be "too late" by then, innit? :p).
SYNOPSIS: "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence" is a multilayered, brutal, at times erotic tale of culture clash that was one of Director Nagisa Oshima's greatest successes.. (Rated "R" / Watch here on Amazon).
"MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR LAWRENCE" stars David Bowie and Ryuchi Sakamoto, and these are the only two persons I know in the film, of which had been constantly featured in press thru the years ... and the youngest I have seen on screen (so far) for Takeshi Kitano...! Regardless of intent or reason, enjoy the track otherwise.
"SYMPATHY FOR LADY VENGEANCE" ranks as one of my all-time favourite Korean film. Directed by Park Chan-wook, with this film being apart of his "Vengeance trilogy" films (Including 2002's "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance" and 2003's "Oldboy"), the film starred Lee Young-ae as "Lee Geum-ja", who had been convicted of kidnapping and murdering a 6-year-old schoolboy, and we see her story of revenge unfold. Released in 2005, the film has firmly carved a corner of celluloid-loving heart.
The opening of the movie shows Lee Geum-ja (Lee Young Ae) coming out of prison after 13 and 1/2 years. She is greeted by an excited catholic priest with a choir of singers dressed as Santas. He presents her with a white tofu cake (what folks take a bite off of to cleanse their bad luck), when she chucks it to the floor, and tells him to go screw himself - Now THAT'S one hella XMAS! LOL
SYNOPIS: 'After being wrongfully convicted, a woman is imprisoned for 13 years and forced to give up her daughter. While in prison she gains the respect of her cellmates and plots her revenge on the man responsible. Once released, she begins her elaborate plan of retribution, but discovers a horrifying truth.' (Watch here on Amazon).
1996's JINGLE ALL THE WAY is as brutal-Christmas as you're going to get - understandably so I might not relate as I am not a father nor have I needed to fight to buy a toy for my non-existent kid, but... it's Arnold Schwarzenegger and Action Figure toys! HO~HO~HO...! (Watch here on Amazon).
I started this list with the caveat to have all live-action films, but how could I resist NOT listing 2003's "TOKYO GODFATHERS: anime film?
SYNOPSIS: 'From acclaimed director, Satoshi Kon (Perfect Blue, Millennium Actress) and Japan's leading animation studio, Mad House (X, Vampire Hunter D, Ninja Scroll), comes this visually and emotionally stunning tale of adventure, love and redemption.'. (Watch here on Amazon)
Yet another "caveat" thrown out the window, with a Stop-Motion Classic: "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS"! Presented by Tim Burton and directed by Henry Selick, this 1993 feature straddles Halloween and Christmas, and features a irresistible attempt to spread "good".
SYNOPSIS: 'Bored with the same old scare-and-scream routine, Pumpkin King Jack Skellington longs to spread the joy of Christmas. But his merry mission puts Santa in jeopardy and creates a nightmare for good little boys and girls everywhere!' (Watch here on Amazon).
"THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT" starts off with your "traditional" suburban family in America. Loving family in a small town... then suburban homemaker "Samantha Caine" (played by Geena Davis) gets a bump on her head, and slowly but surely she remembers per previous life as a secret agent. Her former agency returns to take her out .... Oh what a Christmas this'll be...! And Christmas is all about "surprises", as far as I am concerned... MUAHAHAHAHAHA
SYNOPSIS: 'A violent tale of a young mother who awakens after years of amnesia to discover she's an assassin, with her former bosses in hot pursuit.' (Watch here on Amazon). Directed by Renny Harlin, featured below is a 8-minuter preview of what to expect, in arguably one of my fav "Gonna Davis" roles (that, and Beetlejuice" :p)...!
You'd think more super villains'll know to use the festive season to wreck havoc on the general populance, especially crushing their celebratory attitudes ... but BATMAN RETURNS had this sorted out, with this 1992 film a sequel to 1988's "BATMAN"
SYNOPSIS: 'Batman Caped Crusader is pitted against demented, ravenous Penguin, pitiful, orphaned, psychopathic freak and 'power' hungry capitalist villain, Max Shreck.' (Watch here on Amazon). And how could I not feature "Max Shreck's Christmas Speech"...?
And while I might not be a huge convert of celebratory season, but receiving Christmas Presents is a universal joy! Just don't feed food after might night, nor give it water, nor expose to sunlight, which of course this being a Hollywood film, EVERY DOES...! 1984's GREMLINS is a self-induced chaotic-christmas muahahahahahaha (Watch here on Amazon)! Starring , Hoyt Axton
Who listens to "instructions" these days...? Directed by Joe Dante, and stars Zach Galligan and Phoebe Cates, all of who return for 1990's "Gremlins 2: The New Batch" sequel (Watch here on Amazon).
At this juncture, I've realised my list consisted of "older films" - films which had left a memory-mark in me. And as much as I crack my braincells for more "modern" films to share, I am found wanting. The closest I'd enjoyed none too long ago was 2021's "Love Hard" - starring Nina Dobrev and Jimmy O. Yang (Watch here on Netflix) which used the season for the story to unfold around of, rather than 'Christmas" being the story itself, IMHO. Maybe I am mire for the "soft sell", anyways, innit...? MOVING ON...! :)
And the film I will be attempting to (re)watch this year, is 1983's "TRADING PLACES"! Thanks to the YT-Algorithm, I'd been devouring various clips of this feature (since starting getting this list together lol), and to me embodies the "Christmas Spirit" for which I've associated the season with: Do Good and Good Things will happen to you. Or no, you'll loose all your wealth, or be locked in a cage with a gorilla ...!
SYNOPSIS: 'Wealthy brothers switch homeless street hustler for a snooty broker in bet over "nature vs. nurture."'. (Watch here on Amazon). Directed by John Landis and stars Eddie Murphy, Dan Aykroyd, Jamie Lee Curtis FTW! Gotta be the best-looking Santa I've seen on celluloid HO~HO~HOOOOOOOOO
As you saw the header for this blogpost, I am firmly in the corner of "DIE HARD IS A CHRISTMAS MOVIE".
Did it embody all that is the Christmas Spirit?
Did it feature a warm and fuzzy sit around the Christmas Tree beside the fireplace crackling with love?
Did it feature familial love and happiness? Do I really care?
For all of the Christmas elements written into the story, not that the film was ever meant to be a Christmas movie in the first place. Plus it featured elements I was familiar with: Xmas Office Party with token Xmas tree.
That's it. Ho~Ho~Ho, innit? LOL
I have no doubt the filmmakers attempted to shoehorn in the Christmas-spirit in 1988's "DIE HARD 2", but hey I enjoyed the film, so I could go for that, no worries. But nothing beats the first movie, and if I had an editing skills, I'd replace tons of action scenes in the movie with Christmas songs playing in the background, so you might be convinced "Die Hard Is A Christmas Movie" ~ MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ~ No wait! They've done it already, haven't they? :p
Watch DIE HARD on Amazon
Watch Die Hard (4K UHD) on Amazon
Watch DIE HARD 2 on Amazon
Have a Merry One,folks!
Andy TOYSREVIL
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