Movie Review: 300: Rise of An Empire

Truth be told, I watched the movie "300: Rise of An Empire" nearly two weeks ago and could barely utter a few sentences for a "movie review", but for the memory of Eva Green's bare breasts. Everything before that was a blur, and every scene after seeing said pair of grrrls, no longer mattered, for the story was no longer interesting, and the eventual finish just a timeline to adhere to.


Promising a visual splendor last seen in Zack Snyder's "300", the movie did not disappoint on that frontier. Starting decent though somewhat pedestrian, with basic story somewhat told in online trailers and featurettes, and an "interesting" look at the "genesis" of Xerxes's rise to infamy and "Godhood", which was then ceremoniously forgotten, in lieu of a somewhat more dire but fascinating backstory of Eva Green's "Artemisia" (I had to check IMDb for that), which made me ponder why we ever needed so much focus on the villains than the "heroes"? A wonderment which no longer bothers me as much, for that would be too boring a notion.


Unfortunately, in place of "Tonight We Dine In Hell!" from the earlier epic, we now walk away with the memorable catch phrase; "You Fight Much Harder Than You Fuck!" … And that would be all I have to say about this film.

Now I would imagine why Bond went a bit fooked in the brain when he bedded and lost Viper, innate? Thanks for the mammaries, folks!

EVA Forever, as far as I'm concerned now though :)